What Faith Can Do

I haven't blogged about anything in a long time. Not because we haven't been busy I just haven't made myself take the time to sit down and write. Here is what we have been up to these last few months.

March:
we celebrated lots of birthdays-my mom's, sister's, jaxon's first, and michael's. i lost my father to lung cancer. i am still filled with a lot of mixed emotions about all of that. michael and i also celebrated our 1st anniversary. made me wish i was laying on the beach or swinging through the trees in costa rica again. it has been a wonderful year for us but also extremely difficult. we found out our 4th round of clomid was unsuccessful. we started our 5th and final round of clomid. another month of not getting pregnant. lots of tears were shed this month.

April:
we finally got our grass for the house. we were so tired of the dirt. it took everyone else on the block who got sod a day to put it in but it took my perfectionist husband a week. i love him for how he is and i have to say our yard looks the best on the block. barley loves being able to fertilize it for us. still need to finish the flower beds. painted our front door and mantle red. we love it. we are both scared of color so this is all we have done so far. will post pics soon. came up with excuses not to attend a baby shower this month. just couldn't make myself go. found out our 5th and final round of clomid was unsuccessful. another month of not getting pregnant. lots and lots of tears were shed this month. we were referred to a fertility specialist by my gyno.

May:
skipped out on going to church on mother's day. couldn't take not being able to stand up when they recognize all the mothers. they also had a big baby dedication and didn't think i would be able to handle that. michael and i were supposed to be standing up there with our baby by now. we went and had a nice breakfast with my family instead. had our 1st appointment with dr. b. i think we are going to really like her. she is thorough and very honest. i was diagnosed with pcos and michael has a minor issue going on too. explains a lot. the odds are stacked against us but the doc seemed positive she could help. we will do iui during this next cycle. that means giving myself injections in my stomach (not sure how michael and i are going to handle that one-we both hate needles), taking drugs and going to the doctor a whole lot. not looking forward to it but i hope it pays off. please pray for us during this time. we know God has a plan for us. it may not be our plan but we put all our trust and faith in him.

I've been reading a lot of blogs these last few months. I can't believe how many couples out there are dealing with the struggles of infertility. It is nice to be able to read their stories and have my thoughts and feelings about everything validated in some sort of way. It's reassuring to know that we are not alone on this difficult journey. Even if they are strangers and we will never cross paths we are connected-even if it is in a way that no one wants to be connected.


My mom heard this great song (on the day we actually went to the doctor) and i listen to it all the time now. The words give me peace, comfort, hope and faith.

What Faith Can Do
by Kutless

chorus
i've seen dreams that move the mountains
hope that doesn't ever end
even when the sky is falling
i've seen miracles just happen
silent prayers get answered
broken hearts become brand new
that's what faith can do